You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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