How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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