he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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