We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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