how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
