I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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