Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
