I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
