Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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