then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this boner is exhausting
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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