I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
