Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
