We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
