I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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