i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
