3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
