We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
