I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
