Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Randomize
