so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
