life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
