chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
