Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
