I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
