it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
