in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
