watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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