Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
