the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
