no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
