the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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