Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i've created a new STD.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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