Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
