ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
