I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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