Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
