there's paper in my vomit.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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