R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It's never too late to be topless.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
