Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
