My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
