apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I need moral support for this bender
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
