I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
