And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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