Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
