Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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