Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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