BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
