i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
