So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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