You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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